and miles to go before I sleep

As Robert Frost's poem implies, we all face choices from time to time, choices that influence the course of our future. Sometimes is a choice between the known and the unknown; the predictable and the promising. Sometimes our journey is break-neck rapid, sometimes plodding and methodical, but as long as we keep travelling, the view at least, should change.


I made a choice to go back to school over a year ago, taking road less travelled by. I'd heard rumor of exciting adventure along the way, riches to be gained and new friends to meet, and thus I began, merrily taking in the sights. I cantered through the meadow of "basic counselling skills," catching golden coins that seemed to fall from the sky, soon to be followed by a long but rewarding gallop through hills of "the role of the teacher in guidance" where I had adventures, gained acquaintances, and profited considerably. I raced through the shadowy valley of "theories of counselling" and escaped without harm, and emerged in the sunny glade of "career counselling" to bask in my rewards, honestly earned. Now, however, I find myself in an endless plain of monotony known as "guidance: planning and decision making" and I find my pace slowing down. In fact, the longer I'm stuck in this landscape, the longer I fear it may take as my pace decreases. It feels interminable. Step. by unchanging. step. I am learning nothing new, and



I.


am.


so.


BORED.



I have never been such a poor student - I love learning! Perhaps that it. I'm not learning.



In the midst of unmitigated monotony, I want off this pathway. But I'm now beyond the half-way point, and in fact I passed that signpost just before I entered this dreary dusty hell. So here I sit, astride a horse which for all I know could be wandering in circles. And the worst part is, I don't care.



I just want it to be over. I want out. I want to be able to use my Saturdays for things other than navigating though the same flat unchanging vista. I'd rather be here:




or here.


or anywhere for that matter than where I am right now. Sigh... Well, at least I'm making good progress on my knitted birthday/Christmas gifts. And that, I can do atop a horse.

Mushy

Today was a singularly unproductive day. After arriving at work to find out that the demo I'd set up last night didn't work, I suppose I should have taken that as a sign. Today is my first day solo for a week, what with Hubby off in Mexico with his Dad and Dad's work cronies pulling giant Mexican fish out of their ecosystem.

So here I am, and this morning, things went well. I was responsible, even - so unlike me when I'm all by my lonesome. I made a lunch the night before, paid attention to the cats, left the house tidy this morning, even managed to make and consume coffee before I had to go! The headache I just passed off as the caffiene withdrawl I sometimes face in the morning.

Not so much. By the middle of 2nd period today, I was done. There was no way I was going to face the rest of the day with a burgeoning migraine. If 3 tylenol with codeine don't knock out the headache and instead induce heart palpitations from the extra caffeine, its time to sleep it off. So there I was, facing an hour before my substitute teacher arrived, an hour attempting to balanace noisy high school kids and a rapidly building migraine, including smell hypersensitivity, visual disturbances, and complete inability to focus and concentrate. Sigh.... Well, I suppose today was a good day to call in sick, if there is such a thing. The last 3 classes of the day involved more supervision than direct teaching - group work and finishing up activities. My Gr. 10's had their quiz, thanks to a colleague who gave up some of his prep time to supervise them until my sub came (thanks, Randy!) and then I just gave them a study block, so I suppose it wasn't a total waste.

Anyhow, I made it out of there and was home by 11:45 and immediately hit the sofa. Unable to sleep due to excessive caffeine (stupid T2's), I engaged in mindless knitting I could do without actually visually focusing on it until I melted into a sort of mind-benumbed blob in my living room. I don't remember much after that, except that 6 hours later, I'm now awake and the migraine is gone except for a few residual symptoms.

Not what I'd hoped to accomplish with today, but I suppose I had no choice. Well, off to tackle a paper due for my class in a few days.

voice in the wind

Not being a parent myself, I find myself in the tenuous position of being critical of a small, select group of parents. That being said, parents who expect the school to be the sole agent to support their child academically drive me NUTS!

As an educator, when I phone home to relay my serious concerns about a particular child's progress, I mean it! I don't just call home over simple stuff that could be solved by telling a child to "do their best" and "please remember to do all your homework." If I say that your child is at risk of failing and its ONLY the 2nd month in the school year, you should heed the red flag! Please don't pass the buck. Please don't assume that the school is the only place that needs to work harder to support your child.

How about sitting down with your child (yeah, sitting down together, how 'bout that) and finding out what they're doing in school? How about showing your child how much you care about their success by extending an invitation to sit together and work? How about demanding that your child show your their binder, you organize it together, and you find out what's missing? How about you ask for a list of what needs to be done and you work together at home to ensure its done? How about setting up a very simple system where you as a parent get involved in what your child has for homework? Check their agenda! Attach a reward to getting their agenda filled out and initialed by each teacher! Attach a reward to having completed all homework for a week, two weeks, a month!

How about increasing the academic support at home?

I would love to support your child as much as I am capable of, and guess what, I do! I take the time in class to notice when your child is struggling, and to sit together and work even at the expense of other children. I offer to give up my lunch breaks, my after school hours, my early morning time, my broken moments in which I really just need to find a bathroom, just to sit and work with your child and try to get them help. I offer empathy when they're frustrated, breaks when they're overwhelmed, time when they're confused, and overall my utmost support.

Most parents get it. They do. And I cheer for them, and thank them for doing their part.

But I find it so frustrating when I take the time to research a particular child's strengths and weaknesses, and express concerns to parents, and they pass the buck back. Your child needs you, even if they don't want to be treated like a child any more. Your child needs you. Support also needs to come from home.

To wit, to knit

On Friday, I lugged home my overfull briefcase, stuffed with laptop and enough marking to set off the "passenger seatbelt" light in the front seat of my car. In other words, my briefcase was on par with a toddler for weight. I had a busy night too - I lugged things to my cousin's apartment after work rather than going home, where we had our monthly book club meeting. We had dinner and catchup time first, drooled over a new KnitPicks catalogue, and she showed me how her spinning wheel works. Dangerous hobby, that one. Dangerous as in, easy to spend a lot of money and get sucked in to addictive instant gratification.

However, I left her house armed with great plans to arise early on Saturday and plug away at the Everest of paper in my bag, and the enormous quantity of reading I've let slide for my UBC course. Thus I drifted off to sleep on Friday ever so guilt-free, knowing, just knowing that Saturday would be productive.

So here I am. Saturday. Here's the score:

Knitting - 1

Card-crafting - 1

Work - 0.

Coursework - 0.

Finished a toque for my step-cousin, finished a hand-crafted card with my Mom for her colleague, finished NONE of the marking or prep which is now watching me like a creepy painting in a B-list horror movie. One of these days, I'm going to grow up and be responsible, I swear!

On a side note, I haven't sat with Mom and done Arts & Crafts since I was 8 years old, so perhaps today wasn't such a waste after all. Perhaps I'm just shifting my priorities subconsciously - family time should come before marking worksheets anyhow!

Let them eat cake - or at least clean it off the floor!

I stopped a cake fight this afternoon. Or rather, pre-empted an attempt at one. How can you tell the school year is in full swing?

Today was a great day to explore a new knitting venture - I joined a knitting circle today at a great local yarn store. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I enjoyed the opportunity to sit in a room surrounded by adult conversation. The odd knitting-related term floated past my consciousness as I attempted to follow several simultaneous conversations - "yarn-porn", "squeaky swift," "kitchner toes," and "unusual gusset" to name a few. This too, was good stuff.

I shall return.